Eternal Love For His Wife

                        by Jim Martin/euronitram54@gmail.com
  I had seen him in the Cordova, TN. Kroger Parking lot collecting baskets for years but never had the opportunity to meet and carry on a conversation. A friend happened to be discussing NFL Football one day and pulled me into the conversation. From that point on, Louis and I became friends and have had a multitude of conversations ever since. One in particular was the day he told me about losing his Wife to a medical mistake at the Hospital. She happened to be a Nurse and it was one of those situations of just human error. It was precisely then---that  I learned just how much Louis truly loved his wife and what a fine man he is.
  Louis has had a full time job elsewhere for many years but has worked part-time at Kroger for over 10 years. He is a strong Christian and a real role model for others to follow on work ethic and just being a good man. Louis sees no color and I don't mean he is color blind from visual impairment. Louis happens to be black and as people walk in and out of Kroger, whites, blacks and all Nationalities are seen saying hi to him and many times Mothers and Grandmothers will be seen talking to Louis to see how he is doing and just discussing families.
  Most friends of Louis know that he lost his wife and the days he drives her car to work, her Stethoscope is still hanging from her rear view mirror. Over the years, we have spent "hours" combined talking about his wife and how special she was. Spending just 15 minutes with Louis talking about his wife defines Eternal Love better than any novel I ever read or any romantic movie I ever saw. Louis is 59 years old and feels like the luckiest man alive to have spent their time on Earth together. However, Louis really did not pay any attention to one of their Wedding Vows. "Till Death do us Part". She passed on approximately six and a half years ago and he has not missed a "single day" visiting her grave. That is "about" 2,370 consecutive visits. Some would say that her spirit has moved on to Heaven and only remains in his heart --and they would be right. But Louis's love and loyalty surpasses all the explanations from a Biblical or Scientific interpretation.
  Louis Walls is as fine a man as I have ever known and sets a great example for all of us in this World to unleash our love for our Spouses,Children,Grandchildren,Mothers,Fathers ,Grandparents etc. We should ALL be so lucky to love like Louis  and to be the kind of employee and outstanding person that he is.
Jim Martin-Memphis TN

A Smile 30 Years Ago-Lost Forever                                                                    by Jim Martin/euronitram54@gmail.com
  He talked about her as if it happened a few days ago. Riding on a subway in New York 30 years ago and just thinking this would be a normal commute home from a long work day. And then "it" happened. His eyes met with a stunningly beautiful  brunette and she shyly glanced away after a split second. The beauty of her eyes took his breath away as his mind started gathering the courage for the next step in this encounter. He knew his next stop was in 15 minutes and realized this could be happening for a reason in his life. Every minute or two, they would glance at each other but both would shy away. Now his heart was racing a little more because there was something very special about her and he realized that timing was everything. His stop was getting closer and he was beginning to understand that one does not get a second chance at a first impression. The first words spoken could make or break his chances with this potential made in Heaven future life time relationship. Glancing at his watch made him realize that the phrase "Now or Never" decision was within three minutes. Now his Heart was about to come out of his chest with anxiety.
  Finally, the time had come after ten plus shy glances and he watched her get up at his stop and exit the train. His legs were weak and almost in wet cement as he struggled to exit the train--but "still" not knowing what to say. As she walked away in a different direction, she turned back and gave him the most beautiful and incredible smile that just melted his heart. He was both devastated and heart broken at his lack of ability to have the courage to meet her . He slept very little that night. For the next two weeks , he looked for her at that stop and stayed for later stops just in case. But ---she was gone "FOREVER" along with her Beautiful smile ! He vowed to never fail to go after what he wanted in life.
  In 1967, another young man was driving out of town late one afternoon when he passed a beautiful brunette that he had never seen before. He too made eye contact and her eyes were stunning. This was a small Southern town so he knew she had to be new to the town. He turned his car around and followed her to a gasoline service station. As her car was being pumped gasoline by the attendant, he was driving down the street building up the courage--and the words to stop and introduce himself. The fueling was finished and his "now or never" time was upon him. As he pulled in , he noticed that she had a decal on her car from a Women's University that just so happened to be the same one his Sister was attending. A great opening line and thank goodness she knew his Sister. So far so good. He then asked her to go get a coke with him and she said "sure-follow me". That was "not" her intention as she weaved in between the backed up traffic and left him stranded in the traffic jam. Mean while, she drove home very fast and parked behind the house--turning all the lights off. And hid in the front to watch. He went back to the station and asked the attendant -his childhood friend ,"who was that girl"? His friend did not know so he asked to pull the credit card information and to borrow a phone book. That worked so while she was hiding in the kitchen, the phone rang and he said , "hi this is the guy you left at the service station". Luck would have it that her Parents and entire family came in while she was on the phone and vouched for him because they knew his family. He was invited out that night and met the family. They were married a year and two days later and today have a Daughter and Son and two Granddaughters. He was crazy about her then and still is today after 43 years of marriage.
  It could have been a lost family and marriage like the New York subway "lost love" 30 years ago. But it wasn't. That was me 44 years ago and I feel lucky to have made the effort to find her. Never give up. You just have to go for it in life.
Jim Martin

The Way We Were by Jim Martin/euronitram54@gmail.com

                                                                
  As we go through life, our thoughts keep bringing back old memories of "the way we were". Never fails as a reminder. Of course we remember all the good times and we try to go back  and reconnect with old friends but we find that old saying is true,"you can never go back home again".   We see Bands that try to get together again and recreate that magic touch and chemistry they once had. And we see teams that try to get together again to have that incredible run of success as in earlier years. Most find that the magical ingredients that combined to make that a memorable time frame in our short lives are either gone or just not flying in the same formation. "Things" change--"People" change-Time Changes.
  Families get together for reunions or just special occasions and talk about "the way we were" and realize that everyone has changed and grown up. Priorities have changed--Interest have changed--attitudes have changed--but we still wish ! We sometimes wish just for an hour or a day that time could be reversed back to when we were young or our Children were young--or maybe even our Grandchildren !  We even spend 6 months planning a vacation and once there, our expectations don't meet the excitement level we had built it up to. But when we "remember the way we were", the glorious times will be recorded as a great vacation and we will forget that rain storms kept us off the beach half the time.  I see Parents in the stores with their 2 or 3 year olds and remind them that their child will be 20 before they know it. I  tell them to enjoy every minute with them because that game or recital or some other function will "never" happen the same way again. Their child will be older next time and that event you saw ,or missed, will be in the archives of "The way we were".
   We live in the future "so much" as opposed to the present ,which is why our memory is glazed over after not paying 100% attention. We have our minds wandering/worrying about other parts of our lives while not realizing that at that very second, "nothing else" in the World is on your child's mind other than their Parents watching their every move and smiling at them-----and clapping.  We sometimes live so free and cavalier thinking that we have "plenty" of days, months, years left so it is OK if I let my mind wander during my Daughter's Piano Recital or play.  We have to wake-up and focus on the present and enjoy the "now" minutes/hours/days/months--and "years" ! As opposed to one day talking in groups and saying "the way we were"--it would be better for young people/parents to start saying "THE WAY WE ARE"---and enjoy every moment as if it were our last !! Because I promise you--Life is just a Flicker!!!
by Jim Martin/Memphis TN

GRANDPARENTS JUST KNOW

                             
                                                             by Jim Martin/euronitram54@gmail.com

    A good friend of mine once told me there is no way to explain how it "feels" to be a Grandparent before actually having the honor of becoming one. He was absolutely correct. And now, I cannot describe that "feeling" either. But Grandparents can write and talk about the instances and situations that create laughter, proud moments and great loving memories for eternity.
  But there is a unique aspect of "Grand" parenting which was never experienced as a Parent. Let's just call it "Been there --Done that" !
This can be utilized as a positive for Grandparents and their interactions with their own children as long as they only share their experience---"if asked". Who is to say that "we" did everything right as Parents because we did not. Our children learned to Parent  from us and naturally are striving to improve and be the best Parents possible.
  So, being a good Grandparent is loving on your Grandchildren, being positive with them and supporting your own children (their Parents) when decisions have to be made. Grandchildren have a tendency to think asking a grandparent is stepping up to a higher level to get a more desired answer or permission. It is not. The Buck stops with the Parent. Young children are smarter than you think. They will ask their Mother, then  their father, and then to what they think is the Supreme Court of Grandparents. But they learn quickly once you support their Parents and let them know how lucky they are to have their Parents and what a "JOY" it was being the Parents of your Children.
  But Grandparents have a certain edge after having "Been There-Done That". You see--we are not quite as busy-we yearn for those years of special moments and tend to have a mind less cluttered with everyday pressures and busy schedules. Having seen games, plays and such, we realize that "every" one of these is special and will never be repeated at their age. As parents, we had so many to go to that maybe we were not as finely tuned because we had many more that month to attend. But , Grandparents don't see ALL of them and we only have memories of those long gone happenings with our Children.
  So, while sitting at events with our Grandchildren and soaking in every second as if it was our last seconds on Earth , we glance over at our Children as Parents now-- with proud looks on their faces. That's "real" living !! "Grandparents just know" !

by Jim Martin